Rethink The Way That You View Your Crybaby Tears: Advice for Women Who Feel Like They Cry Too Much
It’s an integral part of girlhood: being teased for crying too much. You’ve probably even been made fun of for “crying over nothing,” or “being a baby,” as a child, but what about when you’re an adult woman and still feel too sensitive? Your feelings are hurt and the tears start streaming down your face, but you’re no longer a kid on a playground. You’re an adult in an adult situation, though hopefully you’re not crying while in a boardroom.
Whenever my feelings are hurt or someone raises their voice to me, the tears start to prick my eyes, making me feel like a little girl again. I was always told that I’d grow out of it, but I didn’t grow out of it as much as I had hoped that I would. I still feel overly-sensitive, with tears pricking my eyes as a minor inconvenience suddenly feels insurmountable.
During an argument or serious discussion, I frequently get upset with myself if I cry and can’t carry on the conversation. I feel like I’ve lost the argument and given the other person the satisfaction. I feel like I am adding to the stereotype of women being too emotional. All of this just adds to my already overwhelmed and complex emotional state, but I’m starting to get over that now.
Let’s clear up a few things:
Crying is a perfectly legitimate and commonplace response to stress. While stress might manifest itself differently in some people, crying comes across as being a fairly harmless stress response and way of expressing emotion, especially in comparison to other, more harmful ways of expressing anger and disappointment.
Whenever you feel the tears coming on, do the following:
It’s cliched advice but advice that works. Give yourself a second to calm down. You’re doing it for yourself, not the person right in front of you. Once you’ve taken your deep breath, concentrate on the problem right in front of you, and think rationally.
Remind yourself that you don’t deserve to be yelled at or made to feel upset. Oftentimes, the argument is not worth standing there and taking it. Ask yourself how important the person even is, because oftentimes, you’re being pushed around by someone you shouldn’t even be giving the time of day to. If the discussion is worth it, stay and fight your corner. Otherwise, feel free to just move on.
If someone teases you for crying, don’t let it get to you. Don’t let anyone bully you, especially if they made you cry in the first place. It’s part of being forgiving towards yourself.
As Charlotte Bronte said in Jane Eyre, “Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.” There’s no arguing with Charlotte Brontë. She’s right on this point.
Maintain your composure as best you can and don’t be too hard on yourself if and when you cry. Remember that crying is not that big of a deal and you can handle the situation.