How I Learned to Love Myself Again...
Have you ever been in a relationship that was so healthy and then the person that you once loved so dearly started bringing you pain and disappointment? Did your confidence take a hit? Did you ever find yourself questioning your worth? If you have, you’re not alone.
Growing up I wasn’t allowed to date. I didn’t have many crushes in middle school. In high school, I was in my books or involved with sports, so I never really took the time to get to know anyone seriously.
Towards the end of high school and early college, I entered my first committed relationship. As my first year of college progressed, the relationship turned unhealthy. At the time, he was going through things, and I tried my best to be “the perfect girlfriend” but neglected taking care of myself in the process.
I’ll never forget when he told me that it was becoming harder to stay faithful to me after trying my best to make the relationship work. I was so devastated. I immediately thought, what can I do to be sexier for him so he won’t have those thoughts. I’m literally cringing as I write this.
It was never about me being sexy for myself or looking good for myself. I became so fixated on his well being that I forgot about my own. Eventually, I got into a really dark place, and I had to let that relationship go in order to heal myself again.
When I became single again, it was hard at first. I had all these new insecurities about my body, and my confidence was at an all-time low. Around this time, my aunt gave me my first pair of waist beads and told me how women in Ghana wear them to feel sexy and confident. Wearing those waist beads made me feel sexy and reminded me to love myself and my body for me and not for someone else.
As time passed, I started to workout more for myself and embraced my body for what it is. I began to view my imperfections not as flaws, but what makes me who I am. I reminded myself that just because someone doesn’t see your worth doesn’t mean you are not worthy.
The path to self-love and body positivity is not always easy, but it is so worth it.